Mediocrity knocking!

QLC, anyone?

The quarterlife crisis (QLC) is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the ages of 21 - 29. The term is named by analogy with mid-life crisis. It is now recognized by many therapists and professionals in the mental health field. (wikipedia)

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:

· frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career (I love being in a relationship with books. I can't write and I can't be a librarian. So all I am is a reader.)

· confusion of identity (I know.)

· insecurity regarding the near future (definitely until the gas price becomes affordable again.)

· insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals (ha!)

· insecurity regarding present accomplishments (hindi na ko natuto mag-violin, and I can never be a real yogini.)

· re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships (hmmm.)

· disappointment with one's job (not naman disappointed. maybe bored?)

· nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life (I miss being carefree AND being careless.)

· tendency to hold stronger opinions (most likely!)

· boredom with social interactions (anti -social ba kamo?)

· loss of closeness to high school and college friends (I live in another mountain now, if that's what you mean.)

· financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) (I think about money all the time. tsk.)

· loneliness

· a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you. (I couldn't care less.)

If you want to read more on QLC, click this and this.

Introspection: 

It's comforting to know that what I'm going through is recognized by health professionals and experienced by my peers. Not that I want anyone else feeling this way, but at least I know I'm not crazy. Ho-hum...

"I'd rather do nothing and be happy then do something I know I don't love." - Jack Fuller

Patience is a virtue

I hate it when my mouth acts faster than my brain and end up upsetting or hurting someone (unless that someone's a total prick.). My Mom always tells me to consider thinking first before talking OR just shut up when I have nothing nice to say. Oh well. When we're too caught up in our emotions... things happen.

Oh and can somebody kindly tell me to stop feeling inip already?! FEW days na lang, anobanamanako?

We can stay in the darkness, I don't mind

I saw you and my heart skipped a beat. Like literally, it skipped a beat. It wasn't even that long, this "LDR" week we had. It's official, you've turned me into a clingy girl. You've made my heart clingy. 

Thank you for the goodies. I love Florence + The Machine more than ever because of you. Didn't think it would be possible but hey, everything about you (and us) has been out of the ordinary.

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out
You left me in the dark
No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight
In the shadow of your heart

- Cosmic Love, Florence + The Machine

Drive me away cause the night just feels right

"Sit back, relax, and let me do the driving..."

Isn't this just the nicest thing to hear? But ONLY from someone you fully trust of course. Obviously, metaphorically speaking. :D Cause I'm yet to convince myself to take interest in literal driving.

A stubborn little brat who thinks highly of herself. Hates being ordered around. Believes to have figured out life's complexities and the art of dealing with it since she was 9 years old. Talk about an egotistic swellhead! Gusto ko ako lang ang di-diskarte, magpa-plano at mag-iisip mag isa. Angas-angasan ba. Ganun ako noon. And now I'm 22, life isn't the same. Not that I'm discrediting everything stated above but its just... you know. When you get a tad bit older, you become wiser to know that things, and life per se isn't JUST like that. Assuming I'm bright enough to entrust my "driving" to someone or something or somewhere else truly, truly capable and worthy, other than myself... things should be fine. And having mentioned my age, I guess it's safe to say that I don't fear as much now. LOL, I'm talking here as if I'm 40!

Sabi nga, bring it on!:P

Let's all try hard to make no mistake in choosing who or what'd help you drive in this road of life. You'll never know. If you have that strong gut feeling you'd rather do all the driving, or most of it maybe, then do so. It could be a happier trip with someone beside you though :D

I keep the faith.

~~/first_of_summer.html ]

Parked car

This night sky

Makes city lights shine like diamonds

Our song plays on the radio.

We're living it up

Make this night ours

We own the world

I wish this lasts forever

Alone with you tonight

Further in you feels so right.

Parked car

This night sky

Makes city lights shine like diamonds

Our song plays on the radio.

We're giving it up and just a little more

This heart felt leap I surrender

Arms raised tonight. (arms raised)

We're giving it up and just a little more

This heart felt leap I surrender

Arms raised tonight. (arms raised)

Anywhere with you

Anywhere with you

Anywhere with you

Drive me away

Cuz the night just feels right

Take me away with you tonight

Anywhere with you.

Drive me away

Cuz the night just feels right

Take me away with you tonight

Anywhere with you.

Parked car, this night sky

Parked car

This night sky

Makes city lights shine like diamonds

Our song plays on, our song plays on,

Our song plays on, our song plays on

Our song plays on…

Parked car, night sky

Alone with you tonight…

- First of Summer, Urbandub

61 Days

J,

I've forgotten all about how it is to love and be loved. I'm afraid I am not yet ready. I'm afraid to take the leap. I'm afraid to fall into oblivion. But as you held my hand, I felt a flicker inside of me. I crave to feel your palms against mine again. Always... I crave.

It has been 61 days since we met, my love. I never thought it would end up like this considering how we met. But that's what makes us special. Most people don't understand us and to be honest, I like it that way. Fuck social norms, I say! We'll make everyone jealous of how ridiculously happy we are in our own world with all our crazy adventures, and fucking good music.

Here's a mixtape I made for you. 61 songs for the 61 awesome days we've been "together". Yes, this is a little cheesy (okay, maybe more than a little) but who gives a fuck?

Strange + Beautiful, A Mixtape

Just like my favorite Aqualung song goes, to me you're strange and you're beautiful. Thank you for everything. You make me so happy. You make me feel alive. And like what I told you before, we'll cross the bridge when get there.

Love,

L

Ruby Tuesday

In the most unexpected moment, there it was. Shape, shade, movement, scent. Too vivid. I'm in love with the enemy.

No. I'm just amusingly attracted. But I don't know an enemy. I have none that I can think of actually. And if by chance I'd have one, for certain, it won't be another human being. But I'll stop before I start freaking you out.

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...

For? My known Ruby Tuesday. Maybe in time I'll be introduced to my new one. Wednesday has been treating me well enough though. And for that coffee + yosi break earlier, you made my day, suweetgeezus! You might actually be the enemy I'm talking about.


HAHAHA!

I miss Tegan & Sara

And so's writing, reading, running and yoga, to name a few.

I've been on a blogging hiatus. I'm too busy living. Haha. Right! Will try to update my blog as soon as possible. Wish me luck!

Build a wall of books
Between us in our bed
Repeat, repeat the words
That I know we both said
Relax into the need
We get so comfortable
Remember when I was
So strange and likeable
I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful
But I'll stray
When I get a little scared
When I get a little scared
When I get a little
When I jerk away from
Holding hands with you
I know these habits hurt
Important parts of you
Remember when I was
Sweet and unexplainable
Nothing like this person,
Unlovable
I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful
But I'll stray
When I get a little scared
When I get a little scared
When I get a little scared
When I get a little
Run, run, run Run Run, run, run
Run I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful
But I'll stray
- Back In Your Head, Tegan & Sara

Of Billiards and Red Horse and Everything That Came Afterwards

I remember you once asked me if I think we'd be happy if we ended up together. Sadly, I don't remember what I told you. That question however has been hard to forget; it's been lingering on the corners of my head and it creeps up to me when I least expect it. These past few days especially, that question has been flashing in my head in big, bold letters. (I think you know why)

Just like how my favorite Oasis song goes, "there are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how..." So here's the best that I can do, I'll try to put into writing the answer that I have come up with to try and put things into their proper perspective. So here it goes...

Yes, I think we'd be happy had we ended up together. In my head I've pictured us doing so many things. I can see us traveling the world together. I imagine us sitting at a cafe; smoking some cigs, people watching and talking about whatever. We'd trade songs and sing like idiots on the many road trips we'll have. I see us reading books on a lazy afternoon. We'd fall asleep with our legs intertwined. And... a dozen other scenarios that I'll just keep to myself. We could've been happy together. We could've helped each other bring back the faith in love and relationships. We could've. But I guess it's all too late now.

You may or may not read this, either way, I really don't care. Now that I've shared this on the world wide web, I feel a tad better. I think. Anyway, here's THE SONG. This song will always be for you.

 

I was meant to tread the water, but now I've gotten into deep...

...This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try...

You Give Me Something, James Morrison

Hunger pains

Just a thought:

When do dreams stop being one and become clutters of the mind? It’s ironic how one’s brain says that for every question, there’s an answer, when all it can give are several “I don’t know’s and maybe’s”…

Masaya at kontento MAY NOT come in the same boat. You may be happy but not contented, or vice versa. It can be that you have already accepted that you will never be completely happy and is okay with it, thus feeling content at some point. Wrong? “Masaya na ko kasi contento ako…” OR “Kontento na ko kasi masaya ako..” How can one be certain? Should you choose between being “masaya” and “kontento”, what will it be?

Much blessed and lucky are those who have them both and know about it. Pity to those who have them all dancing in front of them but not knowing it’s been there all along.

What’s worse, not knowing what makes you truly happy, or yes, knowing what makes you happy but know as well that it could never be?

Spending your life “convinced” as happy and later on realizing that you're really not and you know it already is too late? Or stay convinced to be happy and never realize things at all? Nakakatakot ba pag nalaman mo na “akala” mo lang pero hindi pala?

Some matters just do not have instant answers. Or no answers at all. Or maybe, there aren’t supposed to be such questions in the first place?

We shouldn’t read too much.

The brain experiences an emotional seizure. And there’s no such thing.

Truth is, somebody’s just overly starved. It happens, yo.

Something - The Beatles

Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover,
Something in the way she woos me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.
Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover.
Something in her style that shows me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.
You're asking me will my love grow,
I don't know, I don't know.
You stick around now it may show,
I don't know, I don't know.
Something in the way she knows
And all I have to do is think of her,
Something in the things she shows me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

~~

Just posting another ‘love song’, (that’s the main purpose of this Blogger sign up, mind you.)

“Something” by The Beatles (composed by G. Harrison), albeit the simple lyrics, they’re straight and are kilig enough to pass as a love song. Ilang beses ko ba babanggitin ang salitang to?! Melody has that lazy-high feel to it. Hmm. 

Now really, what’s with this over using of the term “love song”? I remember that one moment when the thought of not having a favorite love song actually made me feel like an alien. And for some reason that time, it kind of bothered me. Oh well, not anymore.

Just a day, just an ordinary day

So today is Valentine's day. I was actually dreading this day because well, I don't have anyone to spend it with and that's really something new to me because I've always had a Valentine. But I'm glad to report that it wasn't as sucky as I thought it would be. It was actually way better than I expected. To begin with, my boss and I had a talk and he told me that I'm getting a bigger promotion than what I was expecting. I wanted to jump up and down and hug him but instead I sat still on my seat, smiled and thanked him the way a professional should. But the moment I stepped out of his office, I went straight to the restroom and called my dad and I almost cried. Almost. And yes, it's always my dad I call first no matter what. All my hard, hard work is paying off! At the age of 21, I can say that I am very much satisfied with my career thankyouverymuch :)

Anyway, the day went on and my celly inbox was full of "Happy Valentine's Day" greetings. Almost as much texts that I got during Christmas. I mean, really? I don't know why it puzzles me. I worked over time for an hour and it's funny because by 5:01, the office was almost deserted! Good on them office mates for having dates on V-Day! Haha! When I finally left the office, I went to meet up with Jen so we can have dinner together. My best friend never fails to keep me company especially during torturous days (exag!) like today! Although I wish I had the money so I can buy her airfare so she can spend her V-Day with Jolo at New Zealand. After our short date, I went home to the condo hoping to get a few drinks before I retire for the night for my early flight tomorrow but instead, my parents dragged me to come to their date. I didn't really want to come since it's their date but my mom was practically begging me to come with them (the truth is, she just didn't want me to be alone that night thinking I'd be "depressed") But it's good that I did come with them. It was a really, really fun date! We were laughing and eating and laughing some more the whole time.

Today would have been a very appropriate day to post a love song here like the way I thought this blog of mine would serve. But for some reason, no music's coming in to me right at this moment. As in none. I mean nothing that'd pass for the season. Argh. There's just no love song for me today. And I know I should stop forcing myself to come up with something, because like love, we do not force things like that, they just come. Oh. That was baduy. Hahaha!

To those many people who sent Heart's Day messages and sweets (totoo, may nagbigay! haha!), from the bottom of my heart, Grazie, Grazie...

Catching up

This weekend I got to hang out with people that I have not seen in a long, long time...

Saturday morning, I woke up early because my high school buddies Jonathan and Joman came to see me. We had breakfast together and talked the whole morning. Jon just came back from Chicago so he had a lot of stories to tell (more than the usual!). It was fun catching up with them and reminiscing about our high school life. Most of the best memories I have of high school involved these 2 as I was (and will always be) one of the boys! After they left, my mom went in my room to check on me and Ching and I felt that it was probably the right time to finally tell her "the news". And so I did. She was shocked to say the least. She had a lot of questions and she gave a lot of advice. But what made me sad was that she was really, really sad. I guess having Kevin around for almost 2 years, he was practically family, like a second son, and now that we're not together anymore, well he in a way broke up with my family too.

Anyway, after my long nap that afternoon I watched 127 Hours with Jen. After that we had a pre-Valentine's Day dinner with my family. We wanted to go out but since all our friends were busy, we decided to just call it a day. Back at home, while I was watching an old VCD I got a text from Carla asking me to go out. So I thought "why the hell not?" So I got dressed and we went out for a couple of drinks. I met Carla a few years back and for a while we were really, really close. Until things turned for the worst and well, we were kids then. Last Christmas, during our barkada's party at Redd's, they invited Carla and that's where we all finally kissed and made up! And I'm glad we did because last night reminded me why I love her in the first place :)

On another note, what's more awkward than seeing your ex the day before Valentine's Day for dinner and a scary movie? Can anyone please tell me because yes, I did went out to see Kevin a while ago. We had dinner then we watched a movie. And as much as I enjoy seeing him I just feel that it's wrong. Is it? Argh. I don't know anymore.

Nothing - The Script

The Script is and I guess will always be one of my musical heroes. They write songs and bam! It feels like it's the soundtrack of my life. Then when their latest album came out, I heard this song and I literally froze, turned the volume to a deafening level and felt so many feelings all at once. I'm so dramatic, no? Haha!

The line that says it all: I wanted words but all I heard was nothing...

Little Bit - Lykke Li

This song... This song is HNNNGGGGG!

~~

Hands down
I'm too proud, for love
But with eyes shut
It's you I'm thinking of
But how we move from A to B it can't be up to me
Cause I don't know
Eye to eye
Thigh to Thigh
I let go

I think I'm a little bit
Little bit

A little bit in love with you
But only if you're a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me
Oh ah

And for you I keep my legs apart
And forget about my tainted heart
And I will never ever be the first to say it
But still I, yes you know, I..I..I..
I would do it
Push the button
Pull the trigger
Climb a mountain
Jump off a cliff
Cause you know baby I love you love you
A little bit

If you would do it
If you would say it
If you would mean it
That we could do it
If it was you and I, not only I
Ha hm

I think I'm a little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me

I think I'm a little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me
Ah oh

Come here, stay with me
Struck me by the hair
Cause I would give anything
Anything
To have you as my man

Come here, stay with me
Struck me by the hair
Cause I would give anything
Anything
To have you as my man

Little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me

Little bit
Little bit
Little bit...

Bataan

I went to Bataan last Sunday with Chieng and her office mates. This is the first time in almost 2 years that I went to Bataan without Kevin. To be there with people I barely know I though I was gonna feel out of place and awkward but I didn't. These people are koo! Haha! I talked to the guys while we were drinking and it's funny that we were able to talk about a lot of things that people who just met normally don't talk about. But hey, I've always been like this; one of the boys. It was a weekend full of laughter and I'm glad I joined them.

Oh and yeah, I have updates on my NY resolutions. Not everyone's gonna agree on that but it's MY resolutions so who cares, right? Haha!

My first out of town trip for the year was definitely a success! :)

Dance, dance like it's the last night of your life...

Jen, Chawz, Tom and I went to Attica last Saturday. These past 2 weekends I've been going to bars with my friends; drinking and dancing our hearts out. It was fun because this is something new for us (as a group) because we really don't do this; it's just not our scene. But it was really fun. One thing's for certain though, on our next night out we're not gonna invite the boys anymore. Hahaha!

Note to self: You can't spend that much money on alcohol again or else you'll be broke. LOL!

Faith

Somebody asked If I ever regretted being in this situation I’m in. You know, breaking up with Kevin.  In a superficial level, you’d think it sucks. But in my case, if you know my reasons and  if you’ll really, as in really think and contemplate about it, you’ll find out it’s worth it. Friends know.

Besides, I do not really regret.  If I do, its only a matter of eating a banana instead of an apple. Just simple things that aren’t a matter of life and death.

I do not regret because I have my own successful ways of justifying my acts. I sincerely do not know if its a good thing or not (speculating its the latter…).

But it works for me.

A few days back, I was sort of lost -  with the ‘usual’ activities I normally do when  I was still ‘alone’ and ‘independent’. But of course, situations happen and we all have to either go back to where we left off or move forward to somewhere or something.  Adjustment lang. Kung ano man o gano kadami o kalayo ang kelangan. As for me, Balik sa dati… I research and analyze things daily - not wholly glamorous or fun, but keeps me occupied so its all good. And so upon finally adjusting yet and again, I got to think about the favorableness of being single:

-  looooooonger baths.
- more reading and writing.
- more writing and reading.
- being more active and actually moving.
- developing a more creative imagination.
- having more time to hang out with my friends.
- et cetera

 Although some things aren’t  as fun anymore. And yknow, the misery of missing someone to be there on a daily basis. Oh well. Some days are better than the others.

Don’t worry guys, I'm good, I'm koo. Lol.

So friends, stop questioning why I'm in where I am right now, come on. Haha. WE CAN NEVER CAN TELL (Melanie Marquez!) what the future holds, ika nga.

I'm just keeping the faith :)

Yellow - The Vitamin String Quartet

Yearsssss from now, I see myself walking somewhere... and this song might be playing! Where do you think will it be? Hahaha!

My string quartet collection is growing and growing! And I'll be using everything on a very special day, should it happen. Wish me luck!:)

1 month

It’s somehow ironic how much I hated Math (the feeling would have been mutual if only Math can state it.) and yet recently, I discover myself unusually fond of numbers- just the ‘counting’ part at least. Maybe it’s a different kind of Math?

Counting is a habit I find unbelievably hard to avoid. It’s strange. Perhaps Math really is important after all!

I wouldn’t miss counting my snooze minutes in the morning, although it never really changes. It’s always 9 minutes snooze until I get up.

The minutes until a vacant cab would pass by the condo. (this varies everyday)

The whole travel time from the minute I got in the cab until I got off. (this too, varies everyday)

In the afternoon going home, I count how many people are in line for the FX until it's my turn.

I’d unconsciously count my toothbrush strokes while at it. (sadly, no hair combing a hundred strokes - that would’ve helped keeping my hair healthy kahit pano)

The seconds until I feel it’s okay for me to stop rinsing my hands off the soap while washing in the sink.

The miles I push myself to run on the treadmill.

The seconds I can tuck my stomach in while desperately aiming to prolong a yoga position. (i often fail here)

I sincerely wish I can make myself count the seconds til it’s fine to swallow. I don’t chew much while eating, it’s hazardous.

The cancer sticks I smoke in a day.

At maraming marami pang iba.

I also enjoy counting money. Whether it’s about to be spent, or to be saved. Oftentimes, it’s the former. Inevitable.

And here are other things I’ve been counting down to:

A movie premiere.

A soundtrack coming out.

My 22nd birthday.

Hong Kong trip with my best friends.

Pay day.

Summer.

And then there are things I just wish I could just lose count of...

~~

Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead (singing)
Come out of things unsaid, shoot an apple of my head (and a)
Trouble that can't be named, tigers waiting to be tamed (singing)
You are, you are

Confusion never stops, closing walls and ticking clocks (gonna)
Come back and take you home, I could not stop, that you now know (singing)
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)

You are [x6]
And nothing else compares
Oh no nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are [continues in background]
Home, home, where I wanted to go [x4]

- Clocks, Coldplay

FYI, this song is not related to the entry above, I just like this remix. :P

Drumming Song - Florence +The Machine

"There's a drumming noise inside my head that starts when you're around I swear that you could hear it, it makes such an almighty sound... As I move my feet towards your body I can hear this beat it fills my head up and gets louder and louder it fills my head up and gets louder and louder..."

I miss singing love songs. Hahaha! Anywayyy, happy weekend! I'm sure mine will surely be a happy one because it's Gelo's birthday party tomorrow! :)

Dance, Dance

I spent this weekend in a way I haven't spent my weekends in a looong time...

Friday night, I went dancing with Chawz and his office mates in Attica. Cholo and Conrad have been inviting me to visit Attica so I can check out the place so I can comment on their "designing skills" but on the last minute, I decided not tell them that I was there. I have my reasons! Hahaha! I haven't been in a bar in a looong time so to say that I felt out of place that night is an understatement. Chawz and I decided to just hang out in their condo so we left early. Yes, we are boring and we like it that way. Haha.

Then this morning, I ran some errands with Eladio and Tom at Market! Market! While waiting for Eladio, Tom and I just basked under the sun, smoked some cigs and talked. We haven't done that in a while and it was nice. After that we went back to the condo where Chawz cooked for us. Again, if I had the money, I'd send Chawz to culinary school so he can hone his cooking skills! We watched a few episodes of Glee! then decided to have some North Park delivered. I love bumming around with these guys!

~~

Edit: I saw this on Attica's Facebook page. Yes, that's me and my aqua colored bra. Talk about embarrassing! Haha! But I do look quite bored AND out of place, don't I? *Rolls eyes

Your Love - The Outfield

This is song # 8 in Cholo's mix tape. Listen to the lyrics and you'll know why I was laughing the whole time I was listening to this!

"I just wanna use your love tonight. I don't wanna lose your love tonight" Hahaha!

I fell in love with this song the moment I heard it on Wicker Park! And yes, I got my blog title from this song :)

I wish someone would sing/write a song as awesome as this for me. Please? Hahaha!


I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart, unseen.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see, lyric's top
And you'll realize that you love me.

Yeah...
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep,
I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,
And you'll realize that you love me, yeah...

Yeah...
Yeah...
Yeah...
Yeah...

1/11/11

It is 1/11/11 today. Being slightly (haha!) superstitious, I made a wish this morning when the clock struck 11:11! I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers and wished with all my might. I didn't ask for anything extravagant. I think it was a simple enough wish that won't be too hard for the universe to send my way. With all the things that's been going on right now and all the plans that I have for the year, I need all the help I can get. So, Universe? Please, please, please let me get what I want this time!

Anywayyy, Cholo came by the office a while ago. The last time we went out, as he was driving me home, we talked about songs, bands, soundtracks (read: MUSIC) and I was teasing him saying that I wasn’t even born yet when the songs he was talking about came out (because of our age difference) so we agreed to trade songs. I was of course serious in giving him a compilation but I was really surprised when he went to the office a while ago to deliver his “mix tape”. I mean, this guy runs a construction company, a bar and 2 fast food chains so saying that he’s busy is an understatement. I haven’t listened to all the songs in his “mix tape”; I’m ripping the CD now so I can put ‘em in my iPod so I can listen to the songs later on my way home. Thanks, Cholo! I’ll burn a CD for you soon (with tons of Justin Bieber songs on it! Haha!)

Let's get physical

All my life, I've always been underweight. There was even a time a few years back that my dad felt the need to take me to a doctor to know what's wrong with me. But the doctor just said that I'm completely normal and that there's nothing wrong with me and I should just continue taking my vitamins and suggested that I eat more veggies. But recently more and more people are commenting that I'm gaining weight. In some parts of my body (ehem!) I actually welcome this weight gain but there are parts that I wish would just stop growing already. Hahaha. This is the result of my very long leave for the holidays last year! My friends say that I don't need to lose weight and I agree. I guess I just have to tone some areas so that's what I plan to do. Last night I went to the condo's gym and ran for an hour on the treadmill then I did 30 minutes on the bike. I wanted to do some crunches but then some guy came in the gym and I didn't want anyone to see me doing crunches (while struggling the whole time) so I decided to just do it some other time. And then I decided that I should really start eating healthy now. Less Double Cheese Burgers and the like! Let's see how long this will last or uhm, how long I will last!

New perspective

 

From L-R: Nhyn, Toney, Me, Madel, Tobal, Jen and Peter

This was taken last Saturday during Madel's birthday celebration. We went out to eat and drink then we had our after party at the boys' condo at Boni Heights. 

One word to sum up this evening? CRAZY. Hahaha! I think Madel's gonna stay away from Jim Beam, Tequila or any kind of booze for that matter after this night! :)

On another note, there's been big progress on one of my New Year's resolutions. My eyes are very much open and clear now (figuratively speaking). I don't know why it had to take me this long but I'm just glad that everything is now in their proper perspective.

My best friend, Jen said that she's proud of me. I'm proud of myself too. I don't know where all this strength is coming from but I like it. *Smiles

1901 - Phoenix

I like listening to this song while in the shower. I don't know why but yeah, that's my thing. Hahaha!

Word vomit

I had dinner and coffee with my best friends, Jen and Chawz earlier. As usual, we were discussing the complexities of our lives and I got carried away andd just like one of my favorite John Mayer song goes... my stupid mouth has got me in trouble, I said too much again. I THINK. I'm sorry, Chawz :(

Hello, CCTV

That's me and Corrine, my next door neighbor here at work. Our relationship is a classic example of the cliche "don't judge the book by its cover". She's probably one of my closest friend here at work and I just love how honest she is whenever we talk. Anyway, that's us messing with the CCTV during lunch time.

I guess blond looks good on me huh? Hahaha!

BIG PLANS

I've been looking up Masters programs on the internet these past few days. Getting a Masters degree is the only item on my short term goals that I have not crossed out yet. And with the recent promotion that I got, I think it's high time that I pursue my Masters now. So far I've shortlisted UP and DLSU as my prospect schools. As for finances, my dad said he'd be willing to pay for my tuition. So I guess the rest is up to me. I can do this. I just have to manage my time so I can work AND study at the same time. My friends from work suggested that I avail the Graduate Education Assistance offered by the company so I read the guidelines in our Business Management Manual.

Here are some of the things I read there...

"The company can, at its discretion, provide financial assistance to qualified employees who shall enroll in graduate degree courses on the basis that such courses will enhance the employee’s performance and capabilities with ultimate benefit to the company...

Graduate degree courses shall be obtained from the Department of Education, Culture & Sports (DECS), or reputable accredited educational institutions such as U.P., Ateneo, De La Salle U.S.T., etc.

The company shall subsidize 70% of the full entrance, tuition and other required miscellaneous fees of the qualified employee at the start of every semester.  The remaining 30% of these fees shall be shouldered by the employee but shall be refunded upon finishing the entire course on schedule as prescribed by the university.  

A failing grade shall not warrant a refund.

Performance rating of no lower than Satisfactory Rating for two (2) consecutive years prior to the application of this program.

The company shall shoulder tuition, registration and miscellaneous fees (laboratory fees, and others).  However, the company shall not refund books and other incidental expenses such as transportation and meal allowance.

The employee shall be contractually bound to serve the company for at least one (1) year upon completing the course, or subject to the approval of the General Manager.  The service agreement shall start at an agreed specified date at the end of the last semester

If the employee decides to resign before the service agreement ends without completing the entire  course, he shall pay in full the total amount of the tuition fees and related expenses paid by the company.

Inability to complete 50% of the program requirement at the end of two (2) years shall mean forfeiture of the grant, and shall pay in full the total amount of the tuition fees and related expenses paid by the company.

Employee shall attain a passing mark in each academic subject enrolled to refund tuition cost for that particular subject.  Incurring a grade of “below average” or “failed” shall mean cancellation of the grant."

I think their terms are reasonable:
1. No failing grade. All I have to do is pass my subjects and then that's it.
2. I have to stay at least 1 year after I get my Masters Degree
3. Study at UP or DLSU. Right now I'm leaning towards DLSU and I think our president would like that since he's an alumnus of the school. And since the office is moving to Sucat, it would be closer compared to UP. I think.
4. Performance rating of no less that Satisfactory in the past 2 years. I've had consistent Very Satisfactory rating in all my appraisal so yey!
5. Complete 50% of the program requirement in 2 years. I think this won't be that hard to accomplish. I just have to manage my time properly so I can balance everything; work, school, family, friends and of course some ME time.

Aaahh! I'm very eager to get back to school! :)

Meet the boyfriend

My best friend/sister Chieng-mai came to pick me up in the condo last night with her friends anddd her boyfriend! This was the first time I met her new boyfriend, Allen. At first I really didn't like the guy cause he's way too strict that even her conversations with me have to be filtered. But when I met him last night, I realized that he is actually a great guy. Yes, he is strict but I guess that's what Chieng needs in her life right now. So anyway, we went to get a few drinks and Chieng and Allen brought their office mates with them who happens to be a couple too, so yeah; I was the 5th wheel. Argh? Hahaha.

Oh and yeah, I got drunk. Like, drunk! And Allen took care of me. What a sweet guy! So yeah, I'm on your side now, Allen! 100%! Just be good to Chieng! After all the douche bags that she's been with, she really deserves someone who's gonna treat her like a queen.

I have to go and work now. I'm nursing a hang over. I could've called in sick today but decided not to. I have too much work to do!

Nobody said it was easy

Kevin came by the office with a box of Beard Papa’s cream puffs. It was weird seeing him like that. He looks different, which is weird to say knowing that it hasn’t been that long since I last saw him. I told him that I’ve been stressed out from my heavy workload when he asked how I am so he said he wanted to make me happy by bringing me one of my favorite foods. We talked for a while which was kinda awkward since the guards were all watching us. After a few minutes he said that I should head back to the office so we gave our awkward goodbyes and as I was turning to head back inside, he grabbed me, gave me a tight hug then he kissed me on the forehead.

I don’t know what to do or how to react. Really, I don’t.

Of resolutions and willpower

I spent the night at my friends' condo last night. Chawz was feeling sad and lonely (for the past few weeks now) so I came to cheer him up. He cooked dinner for us and it was delicious. He wants to enroll in a culinary school if time and his finances allows it which I think is a good idea. If only I was ridiculously rich, I'd pay for Chawz' culinary school. Anyway, we spent the night watching TV while eating and talking about our usual woes. I wish Chawz would just feel better already. Not that I’m being insensitive nor am I complaining but seeing him so lifeless breaks my heart.

On another note, I am proud to report there’s been progress in 2 of my slightly long list of New Year’s resolutions. I can do this. I know I can. I guess I have more willpower than I give myself credit for. Although I do feel bad for wanting to laugh while a guy was crying in front of me. What's up with me?!

Pyro - Kings of Leon

Sabi nga ng Kings of Leon, I will never be your cornerstone. I love that line. So simple yet so full of meaning. Everyone has a different interpretation of it and I guess it depends on what you're going through at the moment. As for me, well... Hmm. *Smiles

Food and gab

Last night, my new found friend Cholo came by the office to pick me up so we can have dinner. We talked about a lot of things; life in the construction industry, music, movies, golf, basketball, Apple apps, Katipunan, food and other random stuff. He also wanted me to tell him about my day in detail which is cute and kinda weird at the same time :)

It’s fun talking to someone new. Not that I don’t like talking to my old friends but there’s something refreshing talking to someone who only knows so little about you and your past. And I do enjoy asking (and of course answering) ‘getting-to-know-you’ questions. And this guy is very easy to get along with. We talk like we’ve known each other for years. So in short, it was a great night out. I especially loved the part when we were discussing bands and singing (with gusto) in his car while stuck in traffic in Ortigas-C5. Hahaha!

Hanging out and meeting new people? Check on my list of things to do for the year 2011!

Amen!

"I need some peace and quiet... or whatever it is people go away for." -The Holiday

Back to work!

Today is my first working day of the year. I have a lot of things planned for the year, career wise. I'm getting closer and closer to my goal so I have to do everything I can to achieve that. I can do this! I CAN! :)

Yesterday, my last day of vacation I decided to pamper myself so I went to the salon. After that I met up with my best friend and our friends, Shaine and Meg. We watched a movie then we had dinner and a few drinks after. The movie was blah but the girl talk was fun. I'm glad I was able to squeeze all those in before I went back to work.

Anyway, I really should get back to work now. I hope today won't be stressful! :)

2011

I though of creating a new blog for the year 2011. New year, new blog I say. And I guess a new life? A new Leslie? Hmm. That we'll have to see.

We took Ate El to the airport a while ago. She's been here for 3 weeks so I'm kinda used to her being around already. I'm gonna miss you, Ate! Thank you for the very lovely visit! And thank you technology for Facebook, Skype and Magic Jack! :)

I spent New Year's Eve with my family. My sister was with us so it was very nice. After all the fireworks and firecrackers were lit, I went to my best friend's house to celebrate our New Year's tradition. We didn't do much, we went out to see a friend but we went back to her place after a few hours then we slept. That may sound boring to other people but I actually enjoyed it. Just the fact that we were still able to continue our tradition really makes me happy.

~~

Today is January 1. If you're my friend then you know the significance of this date. K, bye!

2011, please be good to me?